Walking in the Sunshine
by Dr.YangOfRavenclaw
Summary: Meredith is hesitant to move forward with Andrew in fear of losing Derek, but she already lost him. There was no use in losing Andrew, too. Established MerLuca. Angsty fluff? Is that a thing? It is now.


**AN: I know, it's been a hot minute. But seriously, I'm a huge MerLuca fan and there is a serious shortage. I've rated this fic "M" but it's really not that explicit. Whoops. Anyway, this song is one of my absolute favorite songs of all time, seriously underloved, and deserves a listen. Please listen to it.**

**This story is set sometime in season 15 but not really following much of the canon, except an established MerLuca (in this universe, they started as a casual hook-up rather than a mutual attraction). **

**I own nothing. Clearly. **

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_"One of these days,_  
_Baby and it won't be long, we're out of here_  
_Over that horizon, the day will come_  
_And we'll be walkin' in the sunshine_

_All I want is a better life for you and me_  
_Far away, it'll be an odyssey_  
_Hand in hand,_  
_And we'll be walkin' in the sunshine"_

_-Rod Stewart_

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It's midnight, and Meredith hears a soft knock at the door. She doesn't need to open it to know it's Andrew DeLuca, because she had recently texted him, all but begging him to come over.

Their relationship status was still floating in the air; not quite a couple but definitely more than a hook-up. Meredith felt disoriented and a little shaky whenever she pondered what they were.

She stumbled forward as soon as she opened the door. Andrew had a smile on his face, and his arms were already open for her. She didn't cry, but she laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could. She was the only one home right now; the kids were staying at Amelia and Owen's, and Maggie crashed at the hospital. Meredith could stand here all night if she wanted to, breathing in the smell of cologne and hand sanitizer of Andrew's jacket. But she wanted him inside.

They sat on the couch, neither of them speaking. Meredith wasn't sure why she wanted him over so badly, but she knew she wanted him here. She relaxed onto the couch next to him. Andrew tried to take his jacket off, but Meredith, enjoying his smell, made him keep it on. Smiling, he took the jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent, and her rapid heartbeat calmed almost immediately.

"Are you going to tell me why you wanted me to come over, or am I just going to hold you all night?" Andrew asked, still grinning at her. She loved loved loved that smile. It made her knees weak.

"I wanted to talk." Meredith grimaced, and his smile faltered a little.

"Did – did I do something?" He asked, a little bit of insecurity creeping onto his face.

"What are we?" Meredith blurted, then hid her face in his jacket, a little embarrassed.

Andrew stopped short. He had not been expecting this to just come blurting out of her mouth. He didn't know what to say; he didn't want to scare her off, but he felt like lying might send the wrong message as well. "Well, what do you want us to be?" He asked, figuring this was a good way to feel out his options.

"I don't know. I really like you, but…" She trailed off, turning a little red and shifting further away.

"Mer, whatever you're feeling, I'd rather you just tell me."

Meredith said nothing. She could feel tears coming. Why, why, why did she have to be so emotional? "I've slept with three men since Derek died. And I've beaten myself up over two of them afterward. But you…" she trailed off again, looking embarrassed and sad, but determined. "You're the first, the only, person that's made me feel like I'm moving on, not cheating on him."

She prayed he wouldn't take this the wrong way. She didn't want him to feel threatened by Derek, even though they had never met. Andrew looked straight into her eyes and didn't let go. She felt herself be lifted off the couch and they were suspended in midair, dancing around each other. He could read every secret inside her, every hidden feeling was on display, every deep insecurity had been brought to the surface, ripped open, and was now bleeding.

"I don't know what to say." And he didn't. He wasn't naïve, or cruel, enough to ever assume or desire to replace Derek. He had learned enough about the two of them to know that Derek had a place in Meredith's heart that she would never ever relinquish. But he was, if nothing else, a little jealous. He didn't want to replace Derek, but he secretly wanted a place in her heart too. He wanted to be there for her the way Derek had been. He wanted the unconditional, never-ending love he knew she still held for Derek.

Meredith's mind was in a similar place. She had never felt like this towards someone that wasn't Derek. They had started a life together, had children, and planted roots. The roots were deep and rich and could not ever be dug up. Derek had domesticated her. She had entered as an intern a horny, drunken mess of a girl and he had healed her into a wife, a mother, and a kickass doctor. But she couldn't deny to herself anymore that Andrew was there too. Her fantasies that used to include Derek forgetting his keys now often included Andrew, now donned in navy scrubs, coming home and picking up Ellis and Bailey. They included scratchy, unshaven kisses and leather jackets that smelled like home. She felt her grip on reality fading. Natasha had told her to go to the one who turned back time, but she ran to the one that sped it up. For the first time in a long time, she felt that her future might hold something deeper than fantasies of forgotten keys and lonely nights in bed.

"Tell me you won't let me go. Even if I'm dark and twisty, even if I get scared and pull away, promise me I won't lose you too. Because I don't think I can do this again."

"I promise you, with all my heart." The smile was back. Andrew wrapped his arms around her and picked her up. They stumbled up the stairs, kissing like teenagers, arms moving around each other madly. He was still smiling as he kissed her, and his heart was in a million pieces, burst open like a piñata at just how much he loved her.

By the time they got to her room, they were in their underwear. Andrew pulled away and stepped back, admiring her. For the mother of 3, a natural mother of 2, she looked _good_. He licked his lips unconsciously, eager to drink her in.

Meredith, breathing heavy and lips swollen, did the same. Toned muscles suited him, and momentarily she was confused as to why he would put himself through residency when he could be an underwear model easily. Her eyes raked him up and down, trying to engrave this image into her memory. His face wasn't smiling, it was awestruck. Their eyes met, and a moment later, so did their lips and hands and chests. He sat down on her bed and pulled her onto his lap.

There were desperate kisses and soft moans and wandering hands, and pretty soon Meredith's coming undone in Andrew's arms. Even Meredith, who was terrified of commitment, was pretty sure she can spend the rest of her life just like this.

Andrew is pressing kisses into her neck and murmuring things that sound terrifyingly like "I love you" and she feels a few tears collect behind her closed eyelids. Their hands are everywhere all at once and she's practically sobbing as she finishes yet again in time with him. This rush of emotions is so powerful that when he pulls away from her, she lets out a soft cry and pulls him back. She presses her bare chest into his and grasps onto him in a hug so tight he has to remind her to breathe.

He pulls her into his lap once more and brushes a strand of hair out of her face. He's so concerned, what did he do now? But she kisses him harder and his confusion mixes with love until its him who can't breathe. She pulls back and stares at him, smiling despite her red cheeks and eyes and, now, lips.

"I love you, Andrew." Her heart shatters a little as she says it, but she sets that aside because the smile he gives her makes it all worth it. He's grinning ear-to-ear in that stupid grin that makes her shattered heart reform and melt right here. She's grasping his arms so tight and staring into his warm, loving eyes in a way that makes his knees weak. He wants to tell her how much she means to him, just how much he wants to marry her and have a life with her. Because to him, she was never sex. She was never casual hook-ups and on-call room pages. She was his wife, the mother of his children and everything in the world. He wants to tell her that the world could be burning apart around them, and he wouldn't care because she's here, on his lap, and he's trying to figure out how he could _possibly _feel this good. But he doesn't say any of that.

"I love you too, Mer." Andrew doesn't want to scare her with too much, too fast. He'll tell her later how much she means to him. But for now, he'll push her back onto the mattress and show her how he feels instead.

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**This is one of the only fics I've written in a year that I'm actually proud of. I really like the way it's written. Please leave a review, I love hearing them. I need some more MerLuca fans because I am so on board this ship. Thanks? 3**


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